


iNeed A Drinking Buddy

by Theonewhosawitall



Category: iCarly
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Angst, Coming Out, Drinking, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Male-Female Friendship, Marriage, Tattoos, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theonewhosawitall/pseuds/Theonewhosawitall
Summary: Carly is getting married, but not to either of the childhood friends that have been in love with her for years. They come together to commiserate.
Relationships: Freddie Benson & Sam Puckett
Kudos: 24





	iNeed A Drinking Buddy

Freddie groaned as Sam's ID flashed up on his phone screen. It was rare for them to go more than a week without talking anyway and he always wondered if it was a sense of duty that kept them together. They hadn't actually been face to face in months. But he knew what this call was about and honestly, he wasn't up for it. But Sam had never taken no as an answer and if he didn't pick up she'd drive herself over to his house and probably break a window to make sure he couldn't avoid her altogether. He held back as sigh as he picked up the phone.

"Hey."

"Hey. How are... things?"

"Things?" He had to stop himself from scoffing. _Things_ didn’t matter. There was only one single thing she cared around right now. But he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. "Things are fine."

"They are?" She sounded surprised.

"Any reason why they wouldn't be?"

"I hear Carly’s getting married."

Freddie winced. Sam had never been one for patience for subtlety. 

"Yup."

"That's gotta suck."

It shouldn't hurt. He and Carly had broken up a long time ago now. She had warned him first before she even announced it because she said she didn't want him to find out from anyone else. She was being nice. At least she thought she was. Because it was just another reminder that deep down she still cared about him and part of him would never stop loving her. 

"Well I always intended to be her second husband so this is pretty much going to plan..." he shrugged, holding back a sigh.

"Still sucks though, right?" Sam said, sympathetically. 

Freddie wrinkled his nose. He could lie to everyone else and get away with it, but Sam knew him too well. She had always been able to pick up on things he did not want her to know. There was no hiding things from her, and honestly, he didn’t want to. At least he had _someone_ to talk honestly with.

"... Yeah."

"You alone?"

"Yeah."

"I’m coming over."

"No you really don’t have-"

"Shut up idiot, I'm coming over!"

With that she hung up. Freddie groaned. Like I said, she never took no for an answer.

Freddie didn’t bother to tidy up the place before she arrived. There was no point. The girl could fly into the room just to pick up the bag she left here and leave a trail of destruction in her wake ten seconds later. He did, however, get dressed. If she saw him in his pyjamas, grizzly bear slippers and blue dressing gown with his five o'clock shadow, she would tell him he looked like a mess. Which he did. But he didn’t want to hear it.

So instead he put on an old grey shirt, a red plaid jacket, and his cleanest cargo pants. His fashion tastes had not changed since his youth. And he was lucky that he hadn’t washed those pants yet because he found a 24 gig memory card in the pocket that could have been lost forever if he had.

The doorbell fired repeatedly as Sam drummed on both that and the door at the same time. When he finally opened it, she beamed at him.

"Let's get drunk!" She cried instantly. 

Freddie groaned. "I don’t wanna go out Sam."

"Then lets stay in. Look-" she dug into her bag and drew out two large bottles of alcohol in colours that were 100% artificial. "I brought cocktail mixes!"

That did not surprise him. Nor did the new streaks of green and blue in her hair, or her new nose ring. But something did.

"You wanna stay in?" He repeated, suspiciously.

"And get drunk!" She grinned.

"Just me and you?" 

"No, me, you, and this invisible elephant."

She scoffed impatiently and shoved past him. It was another surprise that it had taken her this long to welcome herself in. Freddie blinked as he let the door fall shut behind her.

"Sorry, I just assumed you wouldn't wanna get drunk with just me," he said.

She poked her head round from the kitchen to frown at him. "Why not?"

"Well... I - we were never really _friends-"_ he began, reluctantly. 

"What?! Yes we were!" She sneered.

"We were?" he frowned. "I mean, I always kind of thought of you as a friend, but you were always so mean to me-"

"Oh, that," Sam snorted like she'd forgotten all about it. She vanished back into the kitchen to hunt down some glasses as she explained, loudly, "That's because you were always going on about how in love you were with Carly."

"So?"

"So I was jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah. You got to talk about how much you loved her. You got to tell _her_ how much you loved her. No one ever batted an eyelid or treated you funny. Me, if I told her I loved her she said she was my best friend and she loved me as much as she loved Spencer. You got any ribs? Should I order some in? I'm gonna order some in."

Freddie's mind was lagging. He could feel it buffering as he tried to catch up to where Sam had gotten to. As if it would help, he hurried forward to look at her again.

"You were in love with Carly too?!" 

Sam didn't even look up as she poured a large amount of alcohol directly into a measuring just.

"Yep," she said, casually, "and she thought of me in the same way she thinks of her brother."

Freddie winced empathically, "Yikes."

Sam lifted the bottle and her head to grimace at him, "Exactly."

She screwed the cap back onto the bottle and dropped a straw into the measuring jug as Freddie leaned on the cupboard behind him.

"So when we were together..." he began, thoughtfully.

"Sorry kiddo, I was just trying to find some guy to make me feel normal and you fit the category. Mostly," she shrugged.

"Huh... Y’know that actually clears a lot of things up. A lot of things... wow now that I think about it, its actually really obvious... I feel kind of stupid for not noticing..."

"You are kind of stupid, but you're not the only one who never noticed."

"Wow. Then Carly getting married must suck for you too huh?"

Sam raised the jug of alcohol in agreement with him and smiled, "Big time."

"Huh."

It was odd to see the way she dealt with pain. Too look at her it was as if she wasn't hurting at all. She was her usual bouncy self, which usually meant trouble, especially for Freddie. But behind that, the way she slurped on that straw, it was clear that she didn’t want to be alone any more than he did right now. Then again, maybe she hadn't ever wanted to be alone. Thinking back over their years together, he couldn't really think of a time when she wasn't reaching out to be with them. Carly or Spencer or even him. As much as she teased and picked on him, she was always there.

At least part of her really did love him.

"Bet Spencer's thrilled. His little sister's all grown up," Freddie said.

"I don't really think so," Sam shoved a bottle with a straw in it into his hand. "He was more of a weird dad than a brother right? So who's gonna give her away at the ceremony?"

"Oh, good question. That's gonna cause an argument," he hissed to think about it.

"I'll bet I'll hear all about it too, since I'm maid of honour," Sam said.

She crashed down onto the couch, sprawling her legs out and knocking a pile of clothes onto the floor as she did.

"You're gonna be maid of honour? At Carly's wedding?" Freddie repeated. 

"Yep. She asked this morning. Now I have to help mail out invites," she forced a smile.

"Oh. So who else is going?"

"Gibby."

"Of course."

"A bunch of people from Europe too. They're gonna be bridesmaids. Apparently I have to play nice with them or else."

Freddie perched on the arm of the couch and played with his straw. Quietly he asked, "Am I invited?"

Sam glanced over at him. She couldn't imagine facing the big day without him.

"She's swaying back and forth on inviting you, but you'll be there," she said, firmly.

"I will?" He frowned.

"Of course. Either Gibby, me or Spencer will sneak you in there. Not your mum though. I can just imagine her storming the aisle and demanding to know why her precious little sunflower wasn’t good enough for Carly like a psycho," Sam snorted.

"Hey, she's still my mum," Freddie complained. 

It was a defeated argument before it even left his mouth. After finally escaping to college Freddie's therapist had taught him how to put up boundaries. Banning his mother from campus had been the hardest and most rewarding of all of them. Since then he had been distancing himself from her as much as possible, but it was hard. Her talons were deep in his skin and hard to fight against. 

"She still psycho?" Sam asked, casually.

"Yes, but that's not the point," He countered.

She shrugged. "Ah, she's still better than mine."

There was a lull in the conversation as Sam slurped her drink loudly through the straw. Freddie chuckled to himself as he watched her. Years of watching her eat or drink whatever should could get her hands on out of whatever it came flooding back to him. It was a habit he had been guilty of at times. One he knew exactly where they had both picked it up from.

"Isn't it kind of funny that the only real parental figure we had growing up was a guy thirteen years older than us without a real job or love life of any sort?" He said.

Sam nodded, "I feel like I owe Spencer a lot. I mean, it took him a long time and I really fought against him, but he taught me how to make spaghetti tacos by myself and if he hadn't I might have starved."

Freddie's smile faded slightly. "Did you mum really not feed you that much?"

Sam paused. Her smile fell too as she shrugged and stirred the drink with her straw.

"I kinda just slipped her mind if I wasn’t directly in front of her. But it's okay because I had Carly. She kept me fed, gave me somewhere to stay when I couldn't go home, Spencer spent time with us, let us be ourselves, it was good," she said.

"He always said you had to let little teenagers discover themselves even if you hated the way they did it," Freddie agreed.

He gave a wistful smile as he remembered distant times avoiding his mother by hiding out with Spencer. As much as he had loved Carly, Spencer had been just as important looking back.

"Okay, well, he's not dead, let's not start pretending he is," Sam interrupted. 

"No, but... I guess I just owe him a lot," Freddie shrugged.

He lifted the measuring jug to his mouth to stop himself from talking. He could already feel the bubbles of defensive embarrassment swelling in his chest. His adolescence had been fuelled by trying to squash them, he couldn't deal with trying to now.

"Yeah well when I get married he's definitely walking me down the aisle," Sam said confidently.

"You want to get married?" Freddie frowned. 

"Is that such a surprise?" Sam challenged.

"A little. I never saw you as the settling down type," Freddie admitted.

"I'm not. I’m more the barnacle clinging desperately to the side of a ship type. At least that's how my therapist puts it," Sam snorted. 

Freddie sat up slightly. There was much more surprise in that reaction than for the idea that she would get married. He had suggested - multiple times actually, some a lot more aggressive than others - that she look into getting therapy. 

"You took my advice?"

Sam didn't look at him as she gave a sheepish shrug. "Yeah well it turns out you’re not always a complete idiot. Just usually. Anyway it's not healthy to cling to people who offer you any kind of affection apparently because it's a toxic coping mechanism which is why I shouldn't be here so tell me if you want me to leave-"

"Stay. I don't..." it felt funny to say it, and his voice almost wouldn't let him. It caught in his chest. But he bowed his head and forced himself to say, "I don't want you to go..."

Sam glanced over at him. He met her eye for a moment, before they both looked away.

"Awesome," she muttered.

The silence that followed wasn’t quite uncomfortable, but it teetered on the edge. Like something should have been said, but neither knew what. Sam took a deep breath and curled her hair out of her eyes. 

"So you really didn't think we were friends?" She asked.

She sounded disappointed. Maybe even hurt. But deep down she understood. Sam had projected her anger and frustration of her youth onto Freddie, and he took it like a champ, but it made sense that he didn't think of her fondly. Even after their attempts at dating. 

"Well I wasn't sure. I knew we were friends because of Carly. I thought we were in love at one point. Then I realised I couldn't trust myself to be in a relationship because I can't trust other people outside of you, Carly, Gibby and Spencer, which sucks, but it might be why I ended up falling for both of you, y’know? Mummy issues."

Freddie gave a shrug as he finished, as if this was stating the obvious. It was really. His mother never tried to be any less overbearing to them as she was to Freddie. But Sam had to laugh anyway.

"Oh cool, I got Daddy issues. Apparently I can't form emotional attachments to men. Helps that I'm gay so it's not a huge issue, but..."

She stopped herself. Or something in her stopped. It wasn’t a conscious decision, she just didn’t finish her sentence. Freddie tilted his head curiously. 

"But?"

"You and Gibby are my only male friends..."

Freddie smirked. Sam had never attempted to be friends with boys. That was another thing that seemed blindingly obvious to him now. But if he was being honestly, he felt a little smug about it. That somehow he had slipped through the cracks and found his way into her friendship. Whether she liked it or not.

"I'm honoured," he smiled.

"Good, because I expect to be best man at your wedding," she grinned.

Freddie laughed so hard the measuring jug sloshed and splattered the couch between them.

"I just told you I can't trust myself to be in love let alone get married! And besides, who says you're invited to my wedding? I still have that birthday card that says "Happy Birthday, I hate you, Hate Sam.""

Sam threw her head back as she laughed, "You kept that?!"

Freddie grinned and nodded even as his cheeks flushed. "I was touched that you actually remembered my birthday and got me a card. It was the first time I thought you might actually like me. Deep down."

"That's because you’re important to me," Sam nudged him playfully. 

"How much of that have you drunk?" Freddie smirked.

"This is not my first," Sam said.

He chuckled again as she poured more blue liquid into the concoction. It gave the whole thing a similar shimmer to windoline and a smell so strong it could bring a tear to the eye. Freddie came to the conclusion that Sam's insides were closer to poison at this point. Suddenly she spluttered as she burst out laughing mid slurp.

"Hey, remember that time I made you get a tattoo of my face?!" She beamed.

Freddie groaned, holding in a laugh at the memory. "I remember how furious I was when it finally came off."

"That was hilarious!" She grinned. 

"I disagree. What’s your point?" He asked. 

"Nothing really, it's just something that makes me laugh. That was like, _the line_ , y’know? Mean enough to be funny, but not mean enough to be irredeemable."

"Well actually that scared me enough to stand up to my mum for the first time to stop her doing surprise inspections on me so thanks."

"You're very welcome. I would do it again in a heart beat."

"Sometimes I wonder how different life would be if you and I swapped mothers."

Sam shuddered at the idea. "Unbearable. Hate it. Don’t even wanna think about it!"

"C’mon, I'd get to be the badass independent smartass you are-" Freddie began. 

"And I get to be the nerdy computer dork? No thanks. Besides, I'd still be in love with Carly so nothing would change," she sighed.

"And I wouldn't be living next door to Carly so who knows if we'd even be friends," Freddie agreed.

The humour drained out of the room as the alcohol fumes took over.

"At you know your mum loves you," Sam muttered.

"Too much so. She's angry at me for leaving for college and not letting her move into my dorm," Freddie sighed.

"That was seven years ago," Sam said.

Freddie knew that. He nodded. "She doesn't forget."

"Mine does. Forgot my birthday this year. You'd think forgetting a day with a lot of screaming shouting and pain would be hard," Sam said.

"Given half of ICarly was screaming, shouting, and someone in pain, yeah!" Freddie said.

Sam nodded in agreement. She had slumped down throughout their conversation and now her feet were practically over his legs. Right up until she suddenly sat up, energy renewed. Freddie had never understood how easily she replenished her energy considering how lazy she had always been. Then again, lions could sleep for twenty hours and then take down a gazelle. 

"Let's make a bet!" She declared. 

"If Carly was here she'd say our bets never end well and we shouldn’t do them," Freddie warned.

"Carly’s not here."

"Okay, what bet?"

"We both text our mums and whoever replies first wins best mother."

Freddie gave her a baffled look. The idea of it was insane. Of course he'd win. His mother blew up his phone so much he had to get a second one to be able to talk to his friends. Then again, that way he'd win...

"What’s the forfeit?" He asked.

"Tattoos, duh," she said, plainly. 

"Not again!"

"If I lose you can pick my tattoo. anything you want. Nothing's off the table."

That perked his ears. He eyed her suspiciously as ideas formed in the back of his foggy mind. "Even a monkey doing it with a skull?"

Sam snorted. "That could actually we pretty cool."

"How about a hamburger vomiting a rainbow onto a unicorn? A skateboarding dolphin getting decapitated? A robot in a hula skirt!"

"You need to work on what you consider bad tattoos because these are all dope."

"Spencer's name in a heart."

"That - that would be hard to explain on dates."

"Spencer's name in a heart it is!"

"Well a bets a bet."

Sam and Freddie sat up on the sofa as the two of them texted their parents to see which one would bother to respond. They had to time their texts to send them at the same time so neither could have a head start.

"If neither of them reply, what'd we do? Forfeit the bet?" Freddie asked.

"No way, we _both_ lose, we _both_ get tattoos!" Sam declared.

"That would really drive mum over the edge," Freddie muttered.

Since leaving school he had embraced that rebellious streak Sam flared up in him. The independent spirit made him want to do anything that he couldn’t have done a few years ago.

But it was so deeply ingrained in him that he couldn’t do any of it that it always sparked up his anxiety. He hated it. He hated that even not his mother had control over him.

Sam, however, didn’t seem to notice. She just laughed again. "Ha, we could get matching tattoos!"

"Isn't Spencer going to be at the wedding?" Freddie frowned.

"Yeah, so?" Sam shrugged.

"And you’re the maid of honour?" Freddie said. 

"Yeah, _so?"_ Sam asked, impatiently. 

"So wont he have to walk down the aisle with you?"

"What’s your point numb skull?"

"How do you think Spencer will react if he sees you with this tattoo and then finds out I've got one that matches?"

Sam paused. For thought for a moment, pursing her lips as she did, and then shrugged.

"I dunno. I think he'll be flattered. I guess we'll find out!"

The weight of the world was lingering over them like a shadow over their conversation. It was oddly comfortable to drink through their sadness together. They found a way to laugh through it. To feel close. Enough for Sam to think of something she had pushed out of her mind a long time ago.

"Can I err... can tell you something?" She asked, cautiously.

"Is it something nice?" Freddie asked.

He knew it wasn’t. That wasn’t Sam's MO. She didn’t like to apologise or admit when she was wrong so this wasn’t going to be easy.

"I'm the one who stole your phone back in 6th grade."  
Freddie sat up in surprise, making her wince. "You did?!"

"Yeah... Sorry."

Freddie had complained for a week about being robbed. He had tried to set up a bust and uncover who caused the problems. He had even recreated the old S-pie camera to make it look like a real slice of pie to try and get away with it. He roped in Carly and Sam to help. 

_And Sam_.

No wonder he never uncovered anything. She knew what he was up to. She could have gotten away with it if she hadn't confessed now. Except she usually owned up to things like this eventually.

"I don’t get it. You always owned up when you did mean things to me. Why not that?" Freddie asked.  
Sam shrugged, staring at her feet. "Because I was ashamed."

"You were _ashamed?!"_ Freddie’s eyebrows rose.  
"When I did thinks like use your straw to scratch my ears, I was being mean because I was jealous, or bored, or it was funny-"

"Thanks."

"But your phone? That was different. I didn't even know it was yours. By the time I knew what if done I'd already sold it and you had another one in the post so I just... kept quiet..."

She sounded guilty. Freddie felt a wave of sympathy. To be honest he hadn’t thought about that phone in years and he probably never would again if she hadn't confessed then. After all this time. 

"Why'd you do it?" He asked. 

"Because I didn't want you to think of me as a poor kid who had to steal to make money," she muttered.

He snorted. "You stole a lot! Right in front of me sometimes!"

"Yeah but from other people. Never you and Carly!" She insisted, "You guys were my friends. I never really bothered to make any more... Anyway, I know that sucked and I'm sorry..."

Freddie thought about this for a moment. He really hadn't thought about that phone in years. It hadn’t mattered in years. They had been friends too long and been through too much to let this be the thing that got between them now. Especially when they were going to need each other so much in the coming months. 

"I forgive you," he said.

Sam gave him a soft smile as he patted her shoulder. If middle school Sam could see them now she'd be horrified. The thought made her chuckle. But it was tainted by the unavoidable memory of Carly.

"Can I tell you something else?" She asked gently.

"Something else terrible you did to me? Save it, I've already got enough memories to last a life time, I don’t need to know additionals," he chuckled.

Sam gave a weak smile but no more. "I always thought she'd end up with you."

It hit Freddie like a blunt weapon to the chest. He paused, half way through taking a sip of his drink, and looked up at her. Old memories of bickering with her and filming her and teaming up with her against others all came with a connection to Carly.

Carly who was out of his grasp now for good.

He sighed. "You did?"

She nodded.

"Even when you and I were dating?"

She nodded. "Before then too."

"Really?" He sounded surprised. 

"Why'd you think I was so jealous? I knew she liked you back, which is why I was nice to you," he laughed.

"Nice?!" He cried, laughing, "You made my life a living hell!"

"No I didn’t!" She argued, grinning, "I mean, sure, I was mean to you but never more than you could handle. I figured I had to keep you as a friend because you were important to Carly, but y'know, after a while, I realised you were important to me too."

His smiled softened. "You did?"

"Yeah. I did," she smiled back.

There was a short pause as the two of them shared their warm smiles for a moment or two. In another world where she was straight and he was further along in his healing process, this would have been that moment. The moment they realised they loved each other deeply. 

This wasn’t that world, but it was similar. This was the moment they realised just how much they valued each other, still to this way. Because somehow along the way, over the messy course of their adolescence, they had grown important to each other. They were more than friends. They were family. And they really did love each other.

"Can I tell you something?" Freddie asked.

Sam looked surprised now. "What?"

Freddie gave a cocky smirk, "I knew that." 

"What? No you didn’t!" Sam argued, laughing again.

"Well I didn’t know it, know it, but I knew it!" he insisted, grinning too. "Deep down I knew you were my friend. That if I ever really needed help, or someone was really bullying me, you'd be there to stop them. You were like my annoying and frustrating big sister. As much as I hated you, I love you too. I still love you."

Sam opened her mouth to say it back but she couldn't. She still had a way to go in her therapy. Identifying people that mattered to her was going well, and she was able to voice it to other people, but saying it to their faces was a hurdle too far. Saying it to _Freddie_ felt too big.

Freddie understood her silence though. He knew what she meant and he smiled.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, "y’know I still don't understand why Carly and you broke up."

Freddie sighed and shook his head helplessly. He hadn’t been able to talk about it to anyone outside of therapy before because it still hurt, but this was Sam. Even if she didn’t understand she wouldn't judge. And even if she judged she wasn’t going anywhere.  
Besides, there was too much alcohol making his tongue loose to hold it back.

"Long distance is hard. I missed her too much. I figured it would be easier is we weren't together, but it wasn't. It was harder, because we talked less and she found new friends. The time difference didn’t help. And the longer she was out there the less she wanted to come home. It was Italy, then France, then Luxembourg- I stopped paying attention after Morocco."

"And you still want to go to the wedding?" She asked.

He tilted his head uncertainly, "I kind of thought, after everything, it'd be weird if I wasn’t there, right?"

"It'll be weird either way. It'll be weird you're not at the alter," Sam said, firmly. 

Freddie agreed with that much. In his heart of hearts he always thought that some how he and Carly would end up together. They would end up at right place at the right time and it would all click. But that was a dream. It wasn’t real. That was the magical Hollywood version of ICarly. (There had been an attempt at one once. Some bright spark wrote a script about ICarly behind the scenes for a romcom where Carly and Freddie ended up together and Sam ended up with Gibby. Freddie refused to sign off, Carly said it was unrealistic and Sam set it on fire.) 

"Maybe I shouldn't go..." he thought out loud, "Maybe I'll just go to the reception instead, so I don’t have to watch it actually happen. That might be better for both of us. Right?"

He glanced over at Sam when she took long to reply. She hadn’t passed out like he had thought, she was just checking her phone. Much to her disappointment, (but not surprise) her mother still had not replied to her text. More annoyingly the rib place had stopped delivering. 

"Sam? I was asking your opinion."

"My opinion is I want you there," she said, firmly. "For purely selfish reasons I want to be able to look out from the front of the church and see at least one person who agrees that she's marrying the wrong person."

Freddie rolled his eyes. He wanted that too but it was ridiculous. It was a fairy-tale. But before he could argue that he heard her let out a long sigh.

"But... I can't ask you to put yourself in a painful position just because I want you to. Because you have to do what’s best for you. If that means you don’t come, that’s your choice."

Freddie glanced at her again. She had come a long way from the girl he had thought he was in love with so very long ago, but it wasn’t hard to remember why he had.

"Thanks Sam."

"If you want I can say I object because I think she's marrying the wrong guy for you," she offered.

He snorted and nodded, "I'd like that."

"I won't stop her getting married though. I'll just object," she warned.

"Good. I wouldn’t want you to stop her. If she's happy, I want her to be happy. Even if it sucks for me," he sighed.

And he meant it. Truly he did. That stupid childhood crush he had on her never left. But he felt like he had the day he saved her life. If she loved him back that was everything he could ever ask for. But if it wasn't real it wasn’t worth it. He just wanted her to be happy.

Sam nudged him with her toe. "Anyone texted you yet?" 

He picked up his phone. There were a dozen missed messages from old friends just checking in to see if he was okay. It was a little insulting that they all thought he'd go to pot just because his school sweetheart was getting married. It was even more insulting that they were right. Maybe he hadn't grown up as much as he had hoped he had in the last few years.

His mother, however, was still on radio silence. 

"Nope."

"Me neither. Looks like we both lose," Sam said.

Freddie groaned, "We're not actually going to get matching I Love Spencer tattoos right?"

"Oh come on, he’s a famous artist now! People will just think we're die hard fans!" She teased.

Freddie had a dozen arguments against her. Namely that people still remembered ICarly. They still came to talk to him about it in the street. And he had a real job now. He was the technical producer for a huge company. People there knew his roots. They remembered seeing work he did as a kid getting big. Work that included Spencer showing off his sculptures on multiple occasions.

People would know!

But Spencer would see the funny side in it...

Besides, technically he had been tattooed before. He didn't back down then, he wasn’t about to now.

"This is a terrible idea," he said, firmly.

"Yep!" She beamed.

Terrible ideas were her forte. Years of watching her mother and Spencer make them had really helped her learn to spot one from a distance and head straight for it.

"We are _not_ going to your cousin the prison artist, we're going to a professional," he warned.

Sam grinned. Her cousin, the prison artist, had recently gotten her license and was now a fully fledged professional. 

"Whatever makes you feel better," she said 

"I feel terrible," he argued.

She poured the last of her drink into his. "Drink up buddy. You need it."

Whatever happened to the rest of their night was lost in a foggy haze never to he recollected. When they finally woke up in the morning they were back in his room like they had never left. He was on his back on the floor, clutching onto a bin, and she was drooling on the sofa cushions. The throbbing in their heads so vastly outweighed the ache of their arms that they couldn't fully feel it. It took a few hours and a heavy breakfast for Sam to get curious enough to peel her bandage off. Freddie refused to look. He was already regretting the whole thing. Instead he laid back on the sofa and covered his eye with his arm to block out the light.

Sam frowned as she read her tattoo. "Uh, Freddie?"

"What?" He grumbled.

"How do you spell Spencer?"

"What?"

"How do you spell Spencer?!"

"Why?"

"Just answer the question."

"S-P-E-N-C-E-R."

"Oh. Then they definitely spelt this wrong."

She twisted at the hip to lean on the back of the sofa enough that Freddie could see it clearly. He raised his elbow to give himself one eye to see by. Then he bolted straight up.

In a lovely red heart with pink shading and a frame of purple birds holding a white banner and flowers in it's beak, was not the word Spencer. 

"Oh my God! You have my name tattooed on your arm!" He cried.

She tilted her head to see his through the plastic wrap and suddenly felt the same bolt of alarm burst through her chest.

"And you have mine!"

"Oh my God!"

Freddie grabbed at his arm to pull his flesh closer to read his new tattoo. It matched Sam's perfectly, except his read her name, not his. He groaned and fell back helplessly onto the sofa. Sam, however, snorted. 

"This is gonna be _really_ hard to explain on dates!"

She kept laughing like once she started she couldn’t stop. Even with a blazing headache and the wrong name on her arm she laughed madly. It hurt more with each laugh but she couldn't stop. When Freddie glowered at her she only got louder.

"Why are you laughing, what could possibly be funny right now?!" He demanded.

"How hilarious would it be if we turned up at Carly's wedding and pretended to be dating again?" She giggled. 

"What? No one would believe us that's insane," he huffed. 

"No, you said it yourself - some people think if a girl razzes a guy like I did to you it means she likes him! Besides we did it before and even you thought it was real. It would explain the tattoos," she grinned.

Freddie hummed in annoyance. He had no idea how he was going to explain this to anyone from now on. Explaining that he really loved the work of world renowned sculptor Spencer Shay enough to get his name emblazoned permanently on his skin was one thing. Saying he got drunk with his ex girlfriend and got her name on his arm was another. 

_"We_ know it's insane, but what we have is special. It gives you a reason to go to the wedding too and me someone to hang out with who wont mind I’m all mopey because my childhood crush is getting married to someone else. We can mope together!" Sam insisted. 

Freddie wrinkled his nose. He did want to go to the wedding and prove he could be supportive, even if it hurt inside, and to go with his girlfriend would make more sense, but it didn’t seen right to lie.

"I don’t know..."

"And if Carly sees you looking good in your suit, dating someone else, old feelings might get stirred up. She might get a little jealous."

Freddie hated the flicker of hope that rose in him but it couldn’t be denied.

"You really think so?"

She nodded urgently as she finally caught something that might convince him to come with her so she wouldn't have to face this alone.

"It's possible! And if not we can always start planning on how we're gonna get away with you making iCarly iwidow."

Freddie considered this for a moment. He could be supportive of his girlfriend and use that as an excuse to see Carly. To spend time with her, close and personal, in romantic situations. To help plan the wedding. And if that rekindled old feelings, that wasn’t his fault. 

Maybe that would make her think that her marriage wasn’t meant to be. And he could always offer a shoulder to cry on.

Just the right place at the right time...

Yes he knew he couldn't fully trust people and that made relationships hard, but this was _Carly!_ He already trusted her. Neither had ever had a reason not to. As young as they were at the time it was possibly the healthiest relationship he had ever had. If he managed to rekindle that and win her back it wasn’t hid fault. That was proof they were meant to be. 

And if not - "Is it an open bar?"

"It is."

"I'm in."


End file.
